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Zen's GardenA place to rest and contemplate |
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Thanks for visiting!
Samantha Wickedwrote:
I like your blog ... I find it is layout well...mine is a big mess...Anyway ... I like your shih tz u too:p... 
Nov. 11
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6 months onWell, who would have known. Its been six months. It feels like its been forever. I'm more used to the odd sleeping hours and being bound to the schedule of the little ones. Of course, now and then, I still think wistfully of the days when it was just mmy SO and I. Being able to get away for a weekend without a second thought. Being able to go out for dinner without worrying about the time. It was nice. Its also nice then to not worrying about the costs of things. With 2 little ones and my SO looking after them fulltime, things are a little tight. Especially since we have to save for Hannah's op.
But when I hold them in my arms and they look at me...or when I come home and they smile and hold their hands out to be carried...its worth it.
Awesome wonderWell its two months this Tuesday...Some of you all may know what my SO and I have been going through. We have been married for over 8 years and have been trying for children for 6 of those years. Those years have not been easy. Trying to share in the joys of our relatives and friends' children whilst coping with the pangs of wanting our own. Trying to smile and make a joke every CNY when well meaning relatives ask when will it be our turn.
Finally, we decided to seek help. The journey didn't get any easier. My poor SO had to put up with the discomforts of investigations as well as treatments. Then there were the emotional swings from hope to despair every month as we try only to find out it failed.
In September 2007. It happened. She tested positive on her pregancy test. By then, we were so desensitised to negative pregnancy test results that we were incredulous and frankly, it took some time for the news to sink in. It was and is great news. I still recall that I was serving my reservist then when she called me with the results. It was a week later when we found out that we were going to have twins...
For the people that think having twins is lovely, let me enlighten you. Twin pregancies are more risky than normal pregnancies in all ways. The mother has more complications, the twins are more likely to be premature and have more complications.
And it wasn't a plain sailing pregnancy. My SO had a threatened abortion and developed gestational diabetes and the most heart rending of all, we discovered that one of the twins had a serious congential heart disease. We were devasted. We even seriously contemplated aborting...but we didn't.
My SO delivered two beautiful baby girls on May 13th 2008. They were 37 weeks gestation which is from what I hear excellant for twins. Baby H (the one with the heart problem) was pink at birth. So we were allowed to bring her home. We had baby H and baby S for 5 weeks. Unfortunately, baby H's heart couldn't keep up and we had to send her in for an op on June 17th. Post op, she was touch and go for awhile. They couldn't take her off the ventilator and there was talk of the full op which is usually done at 1 yr of age. But last Thursday, they decided to try again and so far, she has been good. But she is still in hospital and will be for awhile.
This Tuesday both of them will be 2 months old. Its has been and I am sure will still be quite a journey. I am proud and honoured to have my SO as a lifemate. She has gone through a lot and has coped with much. I am humbled that God had performed miracles at every turn and has walked with us at every step. Both my SO and I don't regret that we have both baby S and baby H. They are truly gifts to us. Whilst it won't be easy, I look forward to the future and what it brings. I am sure there will be heartache but I am also sure that He will be with us and work His awesome wonder in our lives. Phase 2.2The truth is probably somewhere in between. One cannot just live on fresh air & love but neither can one plan every step. Phase 2.1Money is especially interesting. Once school of thought believes that money should not matter. As long as there is love , shld go ahead. Another school believes that you should only proceed once the maths is right. Phase 2Well, this is it. The beginning of a new phase of me & my SO's life. Babies, progeny and all the heart ache that goes with it. I sometimes wonder its really worth it. having a child can mean so many things. Passing on your DNA, passing on your family name, helping repopulate the nation. Other considerations come in as well, such time, money. |
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